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Yesterday went pretty well despite the fact that I felt like poo... Boston and i are both sick at the moment. Oh the joys of daycare! By the way, his class did the ole switcharoo and he got 3 new baby boys in his class yesterday. Now there are 5 boys and 1 girl! Since they moved the older ones out, Boston next to the oldest in the class.
I managed to do Level 1 of the 30DS. It wasn't as bad as i was expecting, but I can definitely tell that i am going to be sore. Kyle made spaghetti and garlic bread last night. Bread is my weakness... I tried to just eat a smaller portion than normal.
I continue to feel like poo today as well. Boston is off of his schedule and woke up at 2:30 to eat.
I was an hour late for work once again this morning. Our electricity decided to go off at 5:30 this morning just as Kyle was getting ready to leave. It didn't come back on for another hour and Boston decided he needed to eat at 7:30. My goal on most mornings is to be out of the house at 7:00! I am just waiting to get fired...(not really)
I really think I need to hire some help, whether it be a cleaning lady or something. I am absolutely exhausted all the time. The weekends are spent making sure everyone gets to see Boston and doing housework so i really have no down time then. My weekdays/nights are complete chaos as well. Kyle is out of town 80% of the time for work and by the time I take Boston to and from daycare and work an 8.5 hour day i don't want to do anything when i get home at 6:30. But wait, I have to feed the dogs, Boston and myself. Find 20 minutes to work out and then get B a bath and ready for bedtime. I am really trying not to complain but I would give almost anything to be able to work part-time or even better SAH. I know I am not giving a 100% at motherhood, my job or being a wife these days. I just can't be that "Supermom" I thought.
I am reading a book by Dr. Laura Schlessinger called "In Praise of Stay at Home Moms" It is a wonderful book, however it does make me feel even more guilty for not staying at home. For you moms out there that get to SAH you are so lucky! That is my ultimate goal. I did not have a child for someone else to raise. I would recommend this book to any SAHM or anyone who has the option and is trying to make that big decision. This book will do it for you. As for me, it is not an option at the moment but I can't wait until it is! Becoming a mother has completely changed my identity. I used to be the interior designer who wanted nothing but to work my way to the top and get praised by awards for my work. None of that matters to me now AT ALL! All that matters to me now is being the wife, mother, daughter, and friend that God wants me to be.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
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5 comments:
I just found your blog and wanted to say how stinking cute your top header picture is. What a cute family, and that little outfit is to die for! Your son is super cute. So yea... just wanted to drop by and say that. Have a great week! :)
Courtney, I just want you to know that you are not in this alone. I feel the exact way you do. I do get to stay at home, but work full time from home. So, I do get to spend a lot of time with Caroline, but I feel like I can't give her 100 percent because there are always phone calls and emails. We all need some sort of help. I feel like I can never get caught up and all I want to do is put these swollen pregnant feet up and it isn't happening. Now, imagine if you were having another. Whew, I am a little overwhelmed just typing this.
Just wanted to comment about the bread thing - that is my big weakness as well. So we don't buy any kind of special bread (garlic/cheese/etc) or rolls for home dinners. That said, I now don't like homemade spaghetti because it just isn't the same without bread! :sigh:
I am in the same boat as you with wanting to be a SAH (almost--I work part time). I would love to be able to be with riley everyday, but I just don't know if we could afford to right now. Isn't it funny how all of your goals, mindset, & priorities change so much after having a baby?! I wouldn't change it for the world though. Good luck with the diet program! I want to hear how it goes!
Oh Courtney, I know exactly how you feel! I was there a few years ago...and well, my husband read Dr. Dobson's book, Bringing up Boys, and that's when it hit him of how important it is for me to be a SAM. I just want you to know that I have a girl who'd clean for you! :) I did that, and it does help, but you're still gonna feel guilty and like you never get caught up. I still feel that way a lot and I am a SAM (with side jobs). I decided we could barely get by IF I made a lot of sacrifices, and it has totally been worth it. But, y'all are just married and I'm sure aren't able to do it even w/ sacrifices, but just try and hang in there until you can do it. Maybe there's something you could do like an E-bay business that'd give you enough money to be able to stay at home. I'd bet w/ your decor abilities you could make all kinds of things that might bring you in some business...or even try selling via a small boutique? IDK, its just a thought. I'm all about a way to have it all! :) I'll be praying that you receive a peace, but know I remember saying "I have to feed my baby too" and at that point, we had to have the 2 incomes. I decided to pay extra on payments to get stuff paid off and stopped shopping---yes I said it---I almost completely quit shopping! At least for myself...I obviously bought for Jeremiah. If you need hand-me-downs, I have a LOT! :) Some still w/ tags on them! :) Hope all gets better for you soon!
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